Bali, 2008

Massive sunburn! Trust us to be at the beach when the sun was most intense. With barely enough time to swim, snooze and watch dead fishes being swept to shore, we'd turned into a pair of dried chillies, cringing as clothes brushed against skin on our walk back to the hotel.

The aftermath

After a session at the spa and a good night's sleep, I awoke to a brand new morning unable to walk. Actually, I couldn't even stand. My bones were fried. I looked it up later and decided it was sun poisoning.

Over breakfast the morning before, we had spoken to one of the hotel staff, whose husband ran a business driving tourists to the main sights. We had bargained and got what we thought was a good price for a full-day driver. We had to cancel that because of my legs.

I sent Beatrice down to break the news to the driver. She said he looked amused, but I don't think he was. I definitely wasn't.

Learning to walk

Beatrice abandoned me to go out shopping on her own. To get from bed to toilet, I relied on two chairs, shifting one ahead of the other as I slid my weight to each in turn. Like a manual conveyor belt.

By the evening, I was able to half-waddle. The next day we had to leave so it was good that I could at least walk. I could walk, but I couldn't stand still for ten seconds without having to shift my weight about from one knee to another. It make me look like a loony.

Over the next few days back in Singapore the moulting began. It wasn't pretty.

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